Thursday, February 11, 2010

Nothing else TO do

I never thought the reason for writing is that I have nothing ELSE to do. Having gotten two feet of snow Friday to Saturday and having a few more inches dumped atop of that Tuesday to Wednesday we have seemingly been trapped inside the house. Now don't get me wrong, we have gotten out, but the whold air about it has been less than encouraging. Perhaps it's that the kids have been off of school all week. . .did I mention all week.

Last week the phrase God gave me was "battle for it". He said it in so many ways "are you battling?", "You are going to have to fight for this", and "What you are doing is important and hence opposed-so you know that it is not going to come easy". On one hand, yes, I was happy for a word. On the other hand, however, THIS WORD?

The word has come to fruition. I had planned to get serious about writing (again) and make it an unchangable part of my schedule. If I had to change it, like was already happening for an endocrine appointment for my mom and a biopsy for myself, I would have to reschedule it just like any other appointment. I started on the weekend by attempting to back up my data files on a disc and my photos on a brand new portable hard drive. Neither of these worked. Yes, I used the snow days to try to be productive, yes it ended up being another waste of time.

Tuesday I had Joe run virus software. It was an all day project. By Wednesday, my computer wouldn't even turn on. I am not furious, dejected, deflated or anything similar. Hmmmm, what's that all about? I have peace about it. I had hard copies of the data and he was able to copy the photos. But what is this peace? Where is this nagging feeling coming from that wants to say, "Now you can't do anything". Sometimes, I admit, I don't get it. Is God saying "Rest and enjoy this beautiful time?" I don't think so. Actually, right now I am so bored I want to write--of course I will be doing it with a pen and paper.

And this is how I recognize the attack, the battle. Decide you are going to get on a schedule and write-the enemy counters with a week of school cancellations. Take time out to back up your documents-counter, you don't even have that computer where everything was saved anymore. Make a fire and try to read for awhile-the neighbor boy shows up for a live cowboy and indians show in the same room. Blow off the fire and go to whip off a quick blog enroute to closing yourself in your quiet bedroom with pen and paper-it's instantly silent downstairs. . .the boys are upstairs. Is this peace or just the emotion that oozes out from "you can't get anywhere, why even try?" This is the battle.

All I can gain from this is that what I am doing must be important-or the enemy wouldn't waste so much effort trying to stop me. Unfortunately, this doesn't put the fire under me that it should. What is the missing link to that fire?

The boys are back downstairs and it is quiet--I better run!

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